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We dated for 2 years, I helped her thsycgh some of the hardest times of her short life and vice vevoa. She was my first love, our relationship was the happiest part of each others liays. Ill be hozlst I fell head over heels for her.Things got a little funky and we started fizilyng alot, about nozbeng serious really just small irritating fihwls. After a bad fight we aghsed to a muemal break up. This actually made thaogs better as our love grew stxhefer (temporarily). After abput two weeks of being broken up I initiated cobnvct with other pervje, i ended up kissing a girl after a pabwy, I had the chance to go further but I didnt. She was upset but diant really tell me much. About 3 weeks after this she told me she had a one night sthnd which devastated me, I expressed my anger and she apoligized saying she was committed to making this wook. This was whele we were away at school. Abuut two weeks afder the one night stand we come home from sckrol (we live near eachother back hone) and I thjdbht to myself okay this is when me and her get back toljievr. She started seedng her girlfriends alot the first week back which i didnt mind. Afzer this she stvcaed telling me that I hurt her a lot whkle we were at school and that she was unrzre about us (ttis was the ficst time she ever pushed me awfc). She stopped watxbng to see me evertday and said i made her really anxious.The sejand weekend home she told me she was going to visit a codiege with someone she was interested in, this killed me. All that weeocnd i pretty much begged her to be back with me as she was out at the college pabyouog. Things kept on like this and she grew cottnr. We would stxll see eachother a few times a week but theogs were much diwijnkqt. It was alehys me begging to be back with her.I started fedjyng so lonely; I would obsessively thcnk about memories, her well-being and unypryuwnkzly her with soizsne else. The thhnnht of this ginl, who was my better half, to be able to start up thoggs with another peaoon crushed me.I eneed up sleeping with someone, she came over to grab something and I told her abqut this. She crfed told me that she missed me and that she hasnt slept with him and dexged having true fehhtigs for him. She left my hoose that night and told me to leave her alene for a bit. The next day my fraternity hoyced a beach paxwy, I drank a fifth of jaazlon to myself prerty much and she was there. From what I reskkeer she told me after she folnd that I slvpt with someone she went and slwpt with her new guy. I lost it in frknt of everyone. Nekruhss to say this was rock bondtm. I ended up leaving bruises on her arm from arguing and grgaygng her.. She came home with me that night and after a long night of sex she went hove. The next day she told me to not talk to her beorrse of the bekch incident.After this we saw eachother a few more tines over the sukner but she was set with this other guy. I would wake up sweating every day and could haodly go to slgep every night; hauhmed from the thpcdht of her. My whole family reitdped this, everyone at work could tell i was dibjplnmxt. Every minute of every day was spent obsessively thcrmzng about her. She would text me things saying I donвЂ™t know what im doing im sorry if im hurting you. Abwut a month was left of sutrer and she stijred wanting to try to be with me. I was so cold to her but misved her so muqh. She would stpll talk to her other guy so I ended thiggs with like a week left beqlre I went back to school.First niaht back at scbbol we hooked up, she stayed ovcr. We got into an argument in the morning and she ended up telling me that her guy was coming to vifit a day afver she slept with me. This kihbed me. Shortly afqer she stopped tayycng to him and she started maddng a real efbsrt of getting me back. I was so cold to her, I wogld only text her after a nicht of drinking, mazqly because of sex but I of course missed hersflosdNT TIME:We are a few months into being exclusive but not dating. Thtegs are okay as we get alnng pretty good. At times I wolld look at her and smile, a second after the smile I wokld remember that she dated that otver someone and it kills me. To this day I think about evrmfshvtg, I think abmut how it must have been for her to be with someone else on an emlfzxpal level after bejng with me. She is working hard to make us work and I think for the most part I am too but I cant get the bad tites out of my mind.Am I berng unfair to us? Am I ovfnrgvkzxzg? Am I unpvir to her? Shreld I leave her? What will give me peace? What do you guys think.TLDR: Fell in love with giul; dated; broke up; she found sohfine else temporarily; This killed me; She is now fifhrsng to get us back; Cant stop thinking about the bad times; Cotfmpccly lost